“A type” personalities are commonly found when living in a big city, the hustle and bustle, high energy, competitiveness and ambition to reach the top can be all consuming, and my recent struggle during the month of love has forced me to take a hard look at how these traits have impacted on me physically, mentally and emotionally.
Having a lot on my plate has always been something that I was proud of, being busy, excelling in various fields, constantly pushing myself to be the best, growing comfortable with stress and pressure, until it eventually took its toll… IN A BIG WAY!
Starting the month of love (February) with many goals and due dates, I was excited and felt ready to tackle everything coming my way, but my body had a different plan. I began to feel ill and extremely tired and thought it may have been from having a couple too many glasses of wine over the weekend but soon realized over the next few days that the wine was not my villain. Weakness took over, brushing my hair felt like I was lifting a 50kg dumbbell and walking up a flight of stairs felt like an ultra-marathon, and then the panic set in! My body is my life, not just from a physiological aspect, it is literally my livelihood, and every aspect of my life relies on my physical body and the ability to exert strength for several hours every day. And once the panic began, it was downhill from there.
Naturally I took the conventional route and began to see several doctors, and after many needles, scans and specialists with no diagnosis, I began to think it was all in my head! Thinking that I was going insane, my emotions were uncontrollable and no amount of meditation was helping, I was completely vulnerable, which for “A type” personalities is absolute torture. After almost giving up on my sanity, I decided to see one more doctor with a great reputation for not only conventional medicine, but eastern medicine as well, and to my relief- I got a diagnosis! The Coxsackie Virus- a very unfortunate name for an unfortunate virus. This virus had reared its ugly head and was having a Tomorrowland-like festival in my bloodstream, wreaking havoc and taking over. We know that we cannot ever fully be rid of a virus, once we acquire it, it stays in our systems lying dormant waiting for its next opportunity to have a party. There is no true conventional way of ridding the body of viruses, so I turned to a holistic approach, and with a little help from my friends I began a treatment regime that started to work within a couple of days. Physically I began to treat my body with patience, aiming to alkalize the blood as well as some natural supplements to help my immune system kick start and begin to address the virus. Mentally I accepted that I will take time to fully recover but that every day is a step closer. Emotionally I surrendered, surrendered that I am not always going to be feeling strong over the next couple of months, surrendered to vulnerability and learnt to address emotion instead of compressing it and surrendered to the universe knowing it will provide.
Needless to say, what a journey! I am most definitely still an “A type” personality, but have been enlightened by the effect it can have. Embracing the lessons and not so subtle shifts open heartedly and surrendering every step of the way!
